The Final Kiss by Paul Franklin

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A man prepares for a crucial moment with the love of his life.
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Comments: 7
  • #1

    Aaron (Saturday, 21 July 2012 20:48)

    I really enjoyed this, well done, a clever way of utilising a kiss.

  • #2

    Jake (Sunday, 22 July 2012 15:53)

    Praise the Lord, a film that's not all lovey-dovey! And a cool interpretation of the kiss. This'd work very well if directed well. Pity it didn't make the cut!

  • #3

    francesca (Sunday, 22 July 2012 18:58)

    well written and incredibly original. weel done.

  • #4

    Paul (Sunday, 22 July 2012 19:24)

    Thanks very much all 3 of you!
    P.

  • #5

    John (Sunday, 22 July 2012 21:21)

    The payoff was indeed a clever play on words and invites the kind of comments it's had here. However we need to think why it didn't make the cut. It was not clear to me how it met the brief of a Valentine Day setting, with an interpretation of love. There was, for me, far too much expository repetition in the monologue, and I imagine the 50 kisses reader got tired of the theme being repeated by the character.

  • #6

    Niki Wakefield (Sunday, 22 July 2012 22:02)

    Well written and great interpretation of the kiss I think you met the theme of love with his love of the game and the sacrifice he made. But no valentine's Day! Therefore it didn't meet all the brief. Also, while the set-up was good, it could have been cut a little to make way for some tension of will he/won't he make the shot. Otherwise, it's a great idea – well done.

  • #7

    Nigel Sheppard (Monday, 23 July 2012 12:17)

    Good effort Paul, unlucky on not making it through. I did like this, but like someone above mentioned his internal monologue does go on slightly too long.