Fork in the Road by Michael Brandon

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Breaking up in public can be a painful business, especially when there are forks involved.
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Comments: 4
  • #1

    Ivy (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 01:18)

    Heya!
    My constructive two cents: the story lacks a structured outline (beginning, middle, end) - it could find its way into a whole movie like this, but it's a little weak to stand alone. Hope that helps!
    ivy

  • #2

    Mike (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 07:25)

    Hi, thanks for taking the time to review. I thought there WAS a structure to this – maybe it’s not obvious – will look at it again. Cheers.

  • #3

    Craig (Friday, 27 July 2012 21:14)

    The kiss is very slite, I mist it the first time and is it Valentine's day? The two most important parts of this competition. You also had a lot of space left on page two.

    Could have made more if it. Maybe had to much bad language.

  • #4

    Mike (Sunday, 29 July 2012 12:40)

    I want to boil my head in a saucepan