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• #1

  Elaine (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 15:46)

  I really liked both your scripts, very original and well thought out. I hope someone makes these, as they are really very good - and no I don't know Mandy. My only advice would be to simplify your action lines and get rid of anything too narrative, or any unnecessary descriptions. For example, in Three Valentines the first scene where Brandon and Kate have kissed goodbye you write: 'He then walks down the steps to his car.' There is no need to mention steps. You didn't mention them before and suddenly you are restricting locations where this can be shot. Little things like that can make a difference. HTH and well done.

• #2

  Mandy Amory (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 23:20)

  Thanks for liking both my scripts, Elaine. It means a lot as it means that people like your good self, think I have talent:-) I now know what you mean about simplifying my action lines. Didn't realise I was making unneccessary descriptions until you pointed it out. It is something that I'm guilty of in my writing and I will try to get a lid on that, as it made sense what you said. Thanks again as it did help!