'Don't' by Team Gull Films

(Hampshire, UK) Second edit

We shot on top of a roof in Salisbury, Wiltshire with a crew of 3 on a very windy day. The film was shot on a Sony EX3.

Read 'Don't' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 2
  • #1

    Taylor (Sunday, 18 November 2012 12:29)

    Thought the new colour grade much better. A lovely little film which tells a story. I did like the music in the first version but think the more dramatic music on this edit works better. Well done

  • #2

    Anna Taborska (Thursday, 06 December 2012 00:23)

    well done, Gull Films!

'Don't' by Team Gull Films

(Hampshire, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Cut opening few shots
  • Add foley effects
  • Try different music as it’s a bit pedestrian

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Comments: 19 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Adolf El Assal (Sunday, 04 November 2012 15:48)

    cut the beginning and add more sound effects. the picture is also a bit video-like. try deinterlacing the footage and grade it a bit.

  • #2

    Deanna (Sunday, 04 November 2012 23:15)

    Adolf, many thanks for the comments and will add more sound effects - they are there but perhaps too quiet. It was shot progressive and has been colour graded may try a different grade.

  • #3

    Dave (Monday, 05 November 2012 11:11)

    Good film - I cared by the end that was going to be safe, So thanks for ruining my day :-)

  • #4

    Anna (Monday, 05 November 2012 18:22)

    enjoyable and engaging film!

  • #5

    Ann Victoria Roberts (Monday, 05 November 2012 19:44)

    Loved it! Not a film-maker so can't comment on techniques. Thought it was going to be a 'love at first kiss' story, so the ending was a great surprise. And it made me laugh! Irony - Fate - whatever - it really tickled me!

  • #6

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 00:36)

    Think you told the stroy well but there does seem to be something missing. Maybe as Adolf suggested bring in some sound effects and try a different grade. Just lacks a little bit of drama without the presentation. You have a good film, but I think with a bit of work you could make it a lot better.

  • #7

    CVH (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 03:45)

    Gosh... Someone found the ending funny??! Was it supposed to be a comedy because I found it tragic! I agree about the music... Overall excellent! ;)

  • #8

    IMH (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 07:40)

    Wow enjoyable same as Ann no idea abourt film making but enjoyed it and a shock at the end .cant be easy building a story in such a short time . im sure the final cut will be just as good .

  • #9

    Simon Poole-Andersson (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 09:27)

    Engaging story with a sombre twist. My only thoughts are that the never ending pieces of paper distracted me enough to take me out of the story, particularly because the materials used to create the pivotal comuunication device feature distinctly (i.e. the tennis ball, the hair band, the pen) but the paper seems an afterthought. I think all the msgs should have been on one piece with tighter CU's. This may seem trivial to some but in such a short film I think that kind of attention to detail/plot holes is important. I second having another look at the grade too but other than that an enjoyable piece!

  • #10

    Evan (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 20:08)

    I liked the dark twist at the end. However I miss the intent of the original script which is two suicidal people finding love...we have no idea why this woman is on the roof, so that intent is lost.
    There are a couple things you may not be able to easily change at this point. Her hair is in a ponytail in some shots after she removes the band. I'm not big on her mouthing words and feel it would've been stronger had she emoted only with her face and body. I also didn't feel a connection between these two. Maybe she pitied him but that's the extent of it. This could've been explored more.
    As far as what can be done now, the edit is too choppy for me, particularly at the end. Your desire may have been to increase tension but I just feel like the rhythm is running away from you. I'd recommend reviewing your footage and smoothing out the edits throughout, making the rhythm less jarring.
    Great work under challenging conditions. It's one reason I shied away from this script and you managed to get it done.

  • #11

    Phil (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 10:38)

    The shots where the guy's boots are stepping over the ledge break the 180 rule so harshly it is very jarring. Use a simple flop filter in FCP to rectify this.

    The music is dull & the atmos seems very fake, I would choose a street atmos without a pneumatic drill.

    However well done on attempting one of the more challenging scripts and getting a good film out.

  • #12

    Emily Grey (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 14:31)

    I liked the way the story was told, particularly the twist at the ending! But I must admit that the music is a little dull, therefore it doesn't fit with the tone of the story. However, you have told the story within the 2 minute slot, which many other filmmakers have not.
    Good work Gull Films!

  • #13

    Elkie Yates (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 23:22)

    Haha! Very funny! :) I'd make more of an impact at the end though with the bus hitting him,music and sound effects may help. Music change a defo! x

  • #14

    Trudi Grant (Thursday, 08 November 2012 17:59)

    I really liked this film and it was told within the 2 minutes which I feel the films should have been. There was a complete story in 2 minute. I was with those characters all the way. I really liked the tolling of the church bell and the doves flying from the roof to add to the world and the notes floating in the puddle - very filmic. Plus good performances. I do agree with some of the other comments re the colour grade so would suggest this is changed. So many films on this site have great shots but seem to have forgotten about story. This film is about story with some great shots. Well done.

  • #15

    Aaryk Noctivagus (Friday, 09 November 2012 13:25)

    My apologies to everybody regarding the music I composed.

    I have strongly suggested that the film makers dump the composer and find a better one. I believe this to be the best advice.

    I prefer this film and I hope it has every success going forward in the competition.

  • #16

    Karine Alexander (Friday, 09 November 2012 13:39)

    Good effort! I liked the story line it draw me into the action and made me care about the actors. However it does need more drama maybe this can be achieved with different music and colour grading. I loved the unpredictable shock ending, its great when a film does the unexpected!

  • #17

    Helen Jones (Friday, 09 November 2012 17:17)

    A well shot film which set the mood and I was with those characters all the way. It was fast paced and moved along exceptionally well . And a surprise ending. Personally I liked the dark colour grade. Some really great film making in 2 minutes

  • #18

    Deanna (Sunday, 11 November 2012 14:47)

    Currently re-editing re all the suggestions and many thanks for noticing the continuity errors.

  • #19

    Michael (Monday, 12 November 2012 13:43)

    I thought it was very strong and clever to fir so much in. I did find it a bit too choppy (although that might be my computer) and I tend to agree with the comments about the woman, who I didn't find that convincing, and the tennis ball business- don't know if there's a way of varying that? I'm obviously in a minority, but I thought the music was very effective.