Love by Rob Burke Draft 2 (vers 1)
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Love by Rob Burke Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
1. We thought this was a great short dramatic piece and felt it would benefit from being run in real time as the two minutes leading up to when this man does, or doesn’t, press the button.
2. We suggest you consider leaving the ending open – leave your protagonist having had a meaningful interaction with the young girl and knowing his actions – should he choose to go ahead – will kill her.
3. Flashback – if you decide to keep flashback in, make sure you are more descriptive. Put in the individual scenes to show a filmmaker what the flashbacks are and more importantly, what these memories mean. Remember that the more locations you add, the more difficult it will be for the filmmaker.
4. We did have a slight question about whether a young child would give a Valentine card to a stranger? What if the child just sits on the bus next to him and is colouring in a Valentine? Or what if the interaction is just a smile? He is just observing her and at the moment of his imminent death these interactions are amplified.
5. This is a great visual story and would likely suit a director that wants a piece that resonates. Trust a visionary director to interpret this story.
Have your say, what do you think?