A Glasgow Kiss by Larry Diamond Draft 2

A Glasgow Kiss Rewrite.pdf
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Comments: 3
  • #1

    Henry Ravai (Friday, 31 August 2012 13:42)

    At least it gets away from all this other romantic arty wank middle class bollocks. You do need another character may be a stuck up bar man, even better a soft arty middle class twat like your critic Daniel Rice see below. "I cry foul" "I cry twat"

  • #2

    Jane Monroe (Saturday, 01 September 2012 23:48)

    This is by far my favorite, although I prefer the dialogue of the first draft. I love it. I guess it all depends on your interpretation and how you envision it.

  • #3

    Cel Bothwell (Monday, 05 November 2012 15:16)

    I am a Walrus

A Glasgow Kiss by Larry Diamond Draft 1

A Glaswegians first trip to London doesn't quite go as planned
A Glasgow Kiss DRAFT 1.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 99.3 KB

Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author

1. Filmmaker note – because of the nature of the dialogue in this script, be advised that the film will live or die on your casting. So make sure you get it right!

2. We felt the script should start when the two men come into the pub – before that, the shots are just establishing the area. Cutting this out will also afford you more space in the script.

3. Although the presence of Valentine's balloons are established early in the script, we felt that using one of the balloons as a way of getting to the kiss was a little forced. Is there a way you can get to the Glasgow Kiss without pulling this in?


Have your say, what do you think?

Comments: 13 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Mac (Friday, 03 August 2012 15:02)

    Appalling dialogue. Hopefully you can fix it in the development process.

    Reasonably good idea though.

  • #2

    Jock (Friday, 03 August 2012 15:06)

    Needs work. Liking the idea of a Glaswegian kiss though.

  • #3

    David (Friday, 03 August 2012 22:00)

    ...where's the bloody story? This is one wasted idea!

  • #4

    Angela (Friday, 03 August 2012 23:21)

    Nothing wrong with the dialogue, this is pure Glaswegian - probably need subtitles though! Like the part about the balloon, but think it is bit harsh to give your pal a Glasgow kiss for nothing - maybe it could be developed so that it happens to someone at at the bar or he looses patience with the bartender as he didn't take his pals advice and speak slowly!

  • #5

    Damian Mallon (Saturday, 04 August 2012)

    I have to concur with the majority of comments above: good idea but needs more story.

  • #6

    Daniel Rice (Saturday, 04 August 2012 09:26)

    I cry foul! There is no kiss, just a simple script, two lads enter a bar for a drink, and get into an argument, so the old 'Glasgow Kiss' is rolled out, and this is supposed to be a script? Thin, very thin. Who do I root for and why do I care. I guess I don't.

    Doesn't deserve to be in the top 50, big thumbs down from me. If the 'Glasgow Kiss' is just another spin to pad the 50 kisses movie, I think it does a disservice to the other script writers that tried very hard to say to theme.

  • #7

    Michelle Golder (Saturday, 04 August 2012 12:28)

    I like it. Two nice, WORKING Glaswegians, funny interpretation of the kiss. Love the flavour of the dialogue, even if the content is a bit mundane. And can see how it might fit well into a feature crammed with romance. A good seasoning for the whole.

  • #8

    John (Saturday, 04 August 2012 16:04)

    I quite like this, but it is different. I can see how it's split people. Being a Scot myself, the dialogue isn't wrong, but it is a bit strange to see it written on the page as it is. It's one of those pieces where casting is going to be ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL to make this work, but other than that it's relatively easy to shoot.

  • #9

    Samantha (Monday, 06 August 2012 13:50)

    Where's the story? Two people go into a pub and there's a 'Glasgow Kiss'. Hopefully the film makers can add some more excitement! Feels like a joke scene. Something more needs to happen to prompt that 'kiss'.

  • #10

    John (Monday, 06 August 2012 21:27)

    Working my way through these scripts I can see why the organisers found it hard to meet their own deadline for the shortlist. How they are going to come up with a believable final narrative to fit the stated remit of "what love means to you" is now beyond believing, I think. - Reading this one has me doubting they're going to produce anything other than an incoherent dog's breakfast. What a shame.

  • #11

    Craig (Monday, 06 August 2012 22:54)

    I would have thought the Glasgow Kiss would have been done to the death with poeple trying to think of an alterative kiss, but obviously not.

    I see the writre is Scottish, are you happy with this stereotyping of Scottish Poeple? I think if an English person wrote it they would get lynched and a lot of Glasgow kisses!

    As said before there is little story here.

  • #12

    Elaine (Thursday, 09 August 2012 01:06)

    I liked it. i thought it was funny and fast moving, a bit of a stereotype maybe but it was entertaining to me and not as sentimental as so many other scripts.

  • #13

    Laura Koons (Thursday, 09 August 2012 17:24)

    Ha! I really liked this script. It made me laugh and I had no problem understanding the dialect in written form. Subtitles in the movie would be appreciated ; )