A Ghetto Punk Romance by L G Morgan Draft 2

Ghetto-Punk-Romance-Draft2 Script.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 26.1 KB

Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!

Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 4
  • #1

    steven (Thursday, 30 August 2012 23:27)

    it seems they dont even like one another than love each other,,bonnie and clyde ;loved each other,,i think its a story with potential but the two should have been much closer to believe they would rob a bank together and maybe die in process,,i would like to do something with filming this story,,thnx

  • #2

    Chris (Tuesday, 18 September 2012 17:42)

    This is more of a question for the people in charge, but we were told to "watch out for logos and props with brands."

    What about the logo and name for the bank? If we're filming at an actual bank we'd have to show the sign to establish that it's a bank. Even with a release from the location, isn't there still an issue if it's a national corporation?

  • #3

    Eliza (Saturday, 22 September 2012 12:37)

    A Ghetto Punk Romance

    Could you advice as to how to solve the issue with using a real bank as a location in terms of rights? Thanks and best Eliza

  • #4

    Felix (Monday, 05 November 2012 20:25)

    Cute and surprising!

A Ghetto Punk Romance by L G Morgan Draft 1

A modern day Bonnie and Clyde talk love and Valentine's on the way to rob a bank
Adobe Acrobat Document 98.3 KB

Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author

1. We liked this script, thought it was fast paced and fun.

2. You might want to consider changing the names, Jack and Jill, although we never hear their names said, comes across like you have plucked them from the air.  Flesh  these characters out a little in the scene description, they are strong individual characters so set them up as such.

3. You do misdirect the audience well, we don't expect a robbery but is there something else that you can plant in the script that begins to add up when we see then end?

Have your say, what do you think?

Comments: 3 (Discussion closed)
  • #3

    Layla (Thursday, 16 August 2012 23:03)

    Love the dialogue. Can see the pair swiftly manouevering their way through London streets, chatting away without a care, casually putting on their robbing attire. Think the tagline should be less revealing though. Perhaps something more in line with the unusual first date?

  • #2

    Rhys Howell (Thursday, 16 August 2012 22:59)

    I like the idea of a highly cynical of love character and especially that its a woman. And she's not cynical because she's got a broken heart, she's just above such foolish things as love.

    I'd have them already wearing the hats so that when they pull them down its more of a reveal. By having them put the hats on, you've already telegraphed what's likely to happen next. Maybe have the guns come out as the hats roll down.

    Also I'd have them robbing a more traditional first date place so when Jack says "If you think this
    is an appropriate first date...then
    you’re insane.", the audience wonder what he's on about? Surely a busy valentine restaurant is the perfect first date. By making it a packed out restaurant you can keep the cinema line in, which adds another layer to that line.

    I realise finding and filming a busy restaurant may be tough to find a location for but a bank looking building could be too.

    And maybe rather than the final "Fuck Off", just have Jill cocking her pistol with a look of disdain? Good script though.

  • #1

    Su Hoyle (Thursday, 16 August 2012)

    Ghetto Punk -- congrats!